


Grown-Up Kisses

by midnightdiddle (gooseberry)



Category: Tales of Symphonia
Genre: Age Difference, Dubious Consent, False Identity, Incest, M/M, Underage Sex, Uninformed Consent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-11-04
Updated: 2007-11-04
Packaged: 2019-01-31 04:42:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 870
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12674658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gooseberry/pseuds/midnightdiddle
Summary: "Lloyd, my--" Kratos stutters, and Lloyd can't breathe, and he can hear himself panting, and he feels hot, tingling, like he's about to fall apart. "My Lloyd--"--Kratos/Lloyd, dub-con of the Kratos kind. Set sometime between the seals. It means a whole lot more if you know everything about Kratos and Lloyd.





	Grown-Up Kisses

Every night, when they're gathered around the fire, backs to the dark, Lloyd nurses his pride. It prickles and stings, because every day, Kratos says something, or does something, that makes Lloyd feel pathetically young and stupid and naive. And Lloyd might not be as smart as Genis, or the Professor, and he knows he might just be a kid who grew up in the middle of nowhere, but he still has his pride, and Kratos' voice always makes Lloyd's pride smart.

"You should eat," Kratos says, like he's well-meaning, like he's looking out for a younger brother, or a little kid, and Lloyd chokes back his frustrations. "You want to keep up your strength."

"I _know_ ," Lloyd can't help but snap, and he grabs the plate Kratos is holding out, spinning to face the dark. Genis snickers, and the Professor gives a long-suffering sigh, and Lloyd's pride hurts all the more.

"Shut _up_ , Genis," Lloyd barks, and he storms off, hating absolutely everything about this quest, the way Colette's losing more and more of herself, and Lloyd's carrying more and more of her, and the lies are so heavy, and it's so hard to keep them locked behind his tongue, a secret from everyone. And he's _not_ a kid, not even when everyone acts like he is, because Lloyd's holding all of this together, holding Colette together, too, and _damn_ them all.

"You shouldn't venture too far beyond the firelight," Kratos says, right next to Lloyd, and Lloyd jumps, spills his food onto the ground. He scowls and kicks at the ruined bread and watery stew.

"I'm not a kid," he says, because he wants to say it, always wants to say it. Wants everyone to know that he's not that stupid, he does know what he's getting into. He knows more than they ever credit him for, and he doesn't need credit, but he wants a little trust, because he trusts them, and why can't they trust him?

"I-- We know that."

"Then why don't you act like it? I don't need you to take care of me. I don't need a _mom_."

Kratos makes a strange noise, says, "Lloyd," in a strained voice, and Lloyd turns, furious.

"I don't _need_ ," he says, and then he kisses Kratos, because he doesn't know what he doesn't need, doesn't know how to say it. He doesn't have words like Genis and the Professor do, and he can't make everyone feel better like Colette can, and he can't even protect Colette like Kratos. He doesn't have anything, not really, and so he grabs Kratos' collar, rises up on his toes, and kisses him.

"Lloyd!" Kratos' hands are tight around Lloyd's arms, his fingers digging in. Lloyd hisses, feels his toes barely brush the ground. "We _can't_ do this."

Lloyd squirms, forces himself close enough to press an open-mouthed kiss to Kratos' neck, where his collarbone is sharp.

"Why not?" he asks when Kratos makes a broken sound. "Why not? I'm not a kid, I trust you-- Why can't I trust you, why can't I--"

"Lloyd, _please_ ," Kratos says, but his hands are loosening, and Lloyd's feet are touching the ground. When Lloyd looks up, Kratos' eyes are clenched shut, and his mouth just barely open, enough for his breath to hiss.

"I don't want," Lloyd says again, stumbling, because he can't think of what to say to get this, and he wants this, needs this, like water or air or something, and if he could just scream it, it'd work, but he can't say it, can't make it right, so he shoves his head against Kratos' neck, kissing in the sloppy way he saw the kids in Iselia kiss behind the schoolhouse.

"Lloyd, I'm--" Kratos' hands spasm, and Kratos' voice breaks again, and his mouth is soft on Lloyd's, soft and slow and tender, the way the adults would kiss their hellos and goodbyes. "Lloyd."

"I need," Lloyd says, "I need, I need," and Kratos' mouth is slow, too slow, and soft, too soft, and it's the kind of kiss Lloyd always thought he'd share with Colette, but Colette can't feel him now.

"I'm sorry," Kratos says as he slips his hand down the front of Lloyd's pants, and Lloyd shakes against Kratos, breathing ragged against Kratos' shoulder, cloth rubbing against his cheek, skin against his mouth.

"Lloyd, my--" Kratos stutters, and Lloyd can't breathe, and he can hear himself panting, and he feels hot, tingling, like he's about to fall apart. "My Lloyd--"

He comes hot and sticky in his pants, rutting against Kratos' hand, his hands fisting the back of Kratos' shirt. Kratos is pressing his face against Lloyd's hair, and his arms are tight around Lloyd, holding him close until Lloyd can barely breathe.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Kratos says, and Lloyd's hair is growing wet, and Lloyd doesn't want to think about it, doesn't want to see Kratos like this, doesn't want to be on this stupid quest with Colette losing everything that's her, and everyone else falling apart, too, and Lloyd carrying everyone's secrets except Kratos', because Kratos is the only one who's never all there, not really.

"I'm sorry--"

Lloyd's never felt so young before.


End file.
